My One and Only
by fakescorpion
Summary: Yami no Yugi hadn't always been too curious as to why Yugi wore a leather choker on a daily basis. Hadn't, until he realized there's more to it than meet the eyes. Character study/Alternate character interpretation.


_disclaimer: I don't own Yugioh or any of its characters._

_Yami no Yugi hadn't always been too curious as to why Yugi wore a leather choker on a daily basis. Hadn't, until he realized there's more to it than meet the eyes._

"Normal speech."

-Spiritual speech.-

_Thoughts._

* * *

_**My One and Only**_

He noticed it the first night he walked the Earth after so many years of darkness. But though it struck him as odd, he just hadn't been curious (or sane) enough to take much heed.

It's been little pass midnight and Yami no Yugi had been leafing through the worn wallet, emptying it of everything that's of any values before causally chucking the leather piece into a nearby trash bin on the sidewalk. It's not like it would be of much use to Ushio anymore since the man's no more than a phrenetic mess from this night to the rest of his life.

The garments his host chose to wear really didn't suit the spirit at all so he made a snap decision and went into a clothing store that seemed to have something that better fit his taste. It wasn't difficult with a bit of magic to allow him to blend with the shadows.

He dumped the previous stolen cash onto the counter before start looking through the various leather jackets and shirt on the rack. It wasn't after he'd already changed his sneakers into a pair of dark high-heeled boots and started changing the white school uniform into a leather sleeveless with golden décor that he noticed it.

There already was a threadbare old collar-belt around his neck.

Yami no Yugi found it odd.

Since the moment of his renascence, information of the modern era had been poured into his knowledge through the link he had with his host along with trains of emotions and snippets of memories. Though it seemed that deep down Yugi shared a similar fondness for some things as him, it didn't apt his host's personality to actually express outwardly.

The millennia old spirit didn't mind it though but the collar _was_ old. He would very much like to change for a new one or maybe a metal choker.

That's when his hand stopped.

Inches before he touched the leather neckband.

And for a second, Yami no Yugi thought his host had woken and was fighting for control. But further confirmation said otherwise, it's just that he couldn't remove the soft leather that secured his neck.

He left it at that.

Since if his host really did like that particular piece of garment so much enough to subconsciously fight against its removal, he could acknowledge.

After putting the navy colored uniform over his new attire, Yami no Yugi made to next visit the jewelry store.

He still shoplifted a newer collar-belt anyway before he left.

–

By the time he first thought of actually asking about the collar, his host had become his partner.

And it was Yugi who brought up the topic. Though not intentionally.

His soul partner had just finished putting their Millennia Puzzle in steel chains when Yami no Yugi noted with concern that the rough iron might bruise his neck. He didn't want his other half to be harm in any way after all.

Yugi waved it off with one of his cheerful smile.

"Don't worry, mou hitori no boku." He assured, touching the leather collar that seemed to be always presented. "This will keep it from chafing my skin."

It was then did Yami no Yugi realized that the collar his partner wore was the new belt he had taken from the store months previous. So it wasn't something his light had cherished above all else and yet he had fought against its very removal so long ago.

It stirred up the spirit's curiosity then and Yami no Yugi asked about it.

But he couldn't understand the faint hint of...dread? that seemed to drift across the corner of the younger boy's eyes as his smile faltered and all so suddenly the room seemed grimier.

It was interrupted when grandpa called from the front porch, noting Anzu's arrival.

Yami no Yugi decided not to further push the matter.

But he kept an eye out after that, now knowing that the particular piece of neckwear was so much more than a simple accessory.

So for two weeks he observed, yet Yami no Yugi never even got one chance to see his other self take the Ra forsaken collar off. The younger half of his soul even sleep with the damn thing on and the ancient spirit's even beginning to wonder whether Yugi shower with it as well–not that he would ever know since Yugi always took the Puzzle off before the collar (_if_ he really did take it off); and though he could still come out in incorporeal form with the Puzzle not be too far away from his light (usually placed on the sink counter), it's not as if he could just peek inside the shower curtains.

Then after a visit to the local museum, learning about his possible true identity and ways to get back his long forgotten memories, Yami no Yugi soon forgot this small curiosity concerning his partner.

And since the event of Battle City promptly came around the corner. Especially with the demented Rare Hunters on the loose and the insane Malik Ishtar occupying most of his thoughts, it's not like anyone could blame him.

There were little reminders here and there though.

Little reminders that told the telltale clues that his light had always kept one last secret from him.

It was the night before the Battle City finals when there was a sound of smooth metal sliding against obsidian. And Yami no Yugi joked about sleepwalking when he found his soul partner wondering the endless maze of his room. But it was when he later accompany his light back to the brighter half of their soul did he saw it.

It was a chest of shadowy blue, small–barely bigger than his hand, sitting innocently on the only desk in the toys-filled soul room behind six different versions of yet all perfectly completed Rubik's Cubes and beside a three-dimensional jigsaw of a tellurion.

What caught the spirit's eyes was how out of place the chest seemed in the brightly-colored room with its gloomy hue and the rusted brass lock on it seemed to radiate forbidden–so unlike the room in which it resided with door that never closed and always beamed its welcome. And for a fraction of a second, Yami no Yugi had actually thought his light had accidently took something that really belonged in his labyrinthine soul room instead before shaking his head knowing it wasn't possible.

It didn't take much to know that that's where Yugi kept his secrets.

Yami no Yugi only frowned at how the chest seemed so _dark_.

But then Jonouchi fell.

Malik laughed.

Yugi broke.

And suddenly.

Nothing else mattered.

–

He didn't put any thought onto this subject for a long time after. And by the time he did, it was all too late.

He was trapped, alone, in the depth of darkness that had always dwelled in his heart. A darkness he had always refused to acknowledge, always ignored. And pretended to be the king and pharaoh that never made any mistake.

His righteousness was his downfall.

And thus, Yami no Yugi lost his light.

The anger, the pride, the guilt threatened to consume his very being as he entered the Sacred Circle of Heath.

He was lost.

Confused.

Without his light as guidance.

And now, he was unsure of any and every step he took. Afraid of the void and the turmoil that was his dominant sentiment; afraid the consequence and what he would face, what he would find, when–_if_–he retrieve his memory; and...and afraid that he would only harm as he continue to stand.

He just wanted to apologize.

The empty spirit of Yugi was disappointed with his words.

-You're powerful but always, I've known where your weaknesses and darkness reside.- The reflection spirit told him. -You're prideful and are always in defense of your glory.-

Deep down, Yami no Yugi knew the truth behind each and every word of his soul partner's, yet still the words cut profoundly and he felt his heart bleed.

-If you're not wounded, you can never shoulder the darkness of others.-

-And you will for ever be blinded to the pain and sorrow for all who you've faced.- Yugi looked at him, long and hard. -Haga, Mai...and even the three gunmen. If you cannot hear their desperate calls, how can you possibly save them?-

But Yugi didn't give up on him as the Seal of Orichalcos was activated; Yugi didn't give up on him as he let his monsters consumed by the power of darkness with resolute; Yugi didn't give up on him as his Dark Magician Girl was sacrificed to the Catapult Turtle.

Yugi never gave up on him.

And Yami no Yugi ran across the Circle after the Holy Whirlwind-Divine Wind struck, ran to his fallen soul-half's side.

"Aibou!"

-...mou hitori no boku...-

He knew Yugi did it all for him.

-Please don't be lost even if it hurts, mou hitori no boku.-

"...I can't...not without you..."

_You are my light. My only beacon in the storm._

-There's light in every soul as the darkness, and yours is like the Polaris in the darkest night.- The lighter half's voice was so soft it's barely audible. -You don't need my guidance.-

"I can't do it alone."

-No matter how much it hurts...- Yugi said softly between small gasps as he touched their deck that still secured on the Duel Disc that strapped tightly onto Yami no Yugi's wrist. -You are never truly alone.-

Then the reflection spirit slowly moved his weak fingers until it rest gently against the side of his darker counterpart's neck, caressing the soft leather.

_-And I am not as light as is first seemed.-_

His finger dropped, the image of his soul started to segregate.

_-But I trust you...-_

_-...always...-_

_-...mou hitori no boku...-_

–

There was darkness, too, that dwelled in his soul partner's heart.

Never ignored.

But always hidden.

A speck of imperfection that made Yugi's smile hinted with concealed sorrow, a speck of imperfection that allowed Yugi to empathize other's pain. A speck of imperfection that made Yugi all the more humane, all the more kind, all the more beautiful.

_Did Anzu know about it? Did Jonouchi? Honda? Bakura?_

_Did Sugoroku?_

Somehow, Yami no Yugi doubted, as it had taken _him_ so long to discover. And he couldn't help but thought it ironic how nobody seemed to notice the wound that his soul half had hidden in plain sight.

There were faint bruises at the side of his (their) neck, scars from a long time ago, but cruel nonetheless.

Marks that's plainly done by a length of rope.

And all too obvious what it implied.

It's been two days since peace finally rest in the fallen Kingdom of Atlantis and the legendary Dragon Knights' departure. And they–that's to say Yugi and the majority of his friends from Japan–all felt like taking some time off in the America countryside and lodge in the Hawkins' touring van.

It was a little pass midnight when Yugi woke and, after draping a coat over his mazarine pajama to keep away the chill, decided to leave the warmth of the van to take a stroll to the nearby lake. He didn't even bother to put on his shoes so he could feel cool grass under his bare feet.

Yami no Yugi only projected his spiritual self (in the same attire but bare-chested since he'd been resting and had never understood why his lighter half bother to wear so much in sleep) after Yugi sat hugging his legs by the glistening lake.

"You saw it."

It wasn't a question. And the ancient spirit made no notion of hearing other than taking a seat beside his soul partner.

"Aren't you going to ask about it?" Yugi whispered fiddling with their Puzzle, set on not looking at his other.

-Do you want me to?-

Yugi shook his head.

-Then I won't.-

So they sat, gazing out to the peaceful night lake.

But at the same time, Yami no Yugi could see...no, _felt_ the always slightly ajar door of his light's soul room opened wider. And Yugi looking at him once before turning back to his desk and unlocking the small chest.

The chest was empty. But shadows leaked from it in great proportions.

The Collision Balls silenced and the white king of the chess pieces tipped over as if in exhaustion. The five-story poker tower at the corner of the room collapsed and the Kuriboh and Watapon plushies at his feet seemed to cringe in fear behind a stuffed Marshmallon without actually being animated.

Yugi ignored the not-so-subtle changes in his room as he unbuckled the belt around his neck and slowly placed the collar in the chest, where it belonged.

The bruise marks on his neck seemed so much more distinct in his soul.

"I'd been so alone, mou hitori no boku."

A low murmur, like the secret that's not meant for any to hear.

"Don't tell them."

Yugi whispered indicated the whereabouts of the van before looking at his other in the eyes, only a trace of fear in his tone.

"No point worrying them with something long passed."

So Yami no Yugi only wrapped his insubstantial arms around his partner, disregarding the slight flinch from his light when his finger brushed against the leather choker and spiritually visible wound.

He just let the younger boy weep.

–

–

* * *

_I've read quite a couple of stories that mentioned something about the leather collar, but usually it's indicated in a more humorous manner so I thought of doing something different. It turned out more obscure than I like but...oh well._  
_The real title for this fic is **My One and Only Secret**, but I like to think it's keeping the secret a secret :S_

_The dialogue between Yami no Yugi and Yugi in the Sacred Circle is a slightly altered version of the original Japanese episode (cuze I have no idea why English can be dubbed so...unsatisfying.)_


End file.
